"You can't respect somebody who kisses your ass"
[This post was originally published on 29 February 2012. In light of Russia's latest meal, the post remains relevant. Our chickens have indeed come home to roost.]- Ferris Bueller
In the real world, the quote above forms the bedrock of international relations, just as it does in interpersonal relations. When the nation's voters occasionally hand the keys to the SUV of State to a gaggle of Progressive Academics, these pedagogues invariably ramble the wrong way onto the freeway in the midst of rush hour. Disaster ensues. The result is invariably a diplomatic group therapy session moderated by a scarf-wearing Peace Corps veteran with a Joni Mitchell tune-nag who knows in her heart that all differences can be feather-dusted into a win-win through friendly dialogue. 9 times out of 10, this is the result:
Lost in the Hood
The current American Administration is chock-full of just such academics; or worse, with the types of interesting people these academics invite to their dinner parties. But the world is different than it appears from inside an alabaster obelisk insulated with 8 inches of tenure, sycophancy and groupthink. So in a never-ending cycle, these Utopian Theoreticians are occasionally given a license to leave the bleachers and walk onto the actual playing field for 4 to 8 years. The result resembles the conclusion of an encounter between an inquisitive kitten and a lobster. Eventually, the Pros get called in to clean up the mess, like the fellow with the shovel at the end of the zoo parade.
To paraphrase young Ferris, the United States has just spent the last 37 consecutive months smooching the backside of every unsavory member of the global cast of characters. A nice, altruistic, unrequited peck on the derriere of nearly every global entity who, either overtly or covertly, wishes us ill. To add tragedy to folly, the Administration has simultaneously given the kiss-off to our strategic best friends. Actually, the lucky ones get the kiss-off (later, Poland.) If you happen to be an ally of the U.S. who is getting the evil eye from one of the bad guys we're desperately trying to toady up to, you might want to beef up that life insurance policy (Hosni? Hosni who? Tell him I'm busy playing Democracy with my new friends from the Muslim Brotherhood.)
The hard currency of this ass-kissing is The Apology. This debasement is intended to make everything all better. But an apology by the leader, even when deserved, sows the seeds of disrespect among those led. Make a too-frequent habit of apologizing to your children and they'll be running the household within 6 months. Though the President has thrown out apologies the way a krewe tosses out beads at Mardi Gras, he seems to reserve his biggest ration of these for Islam. Some scribbled-up Korans (yes, I spell it the old-fashioned way) get disposed of by burning in Afghanistan, and 2 Army officers then get shot in the back of the head by an Afghani counterpart while two other servicemen get murdered in cold blood- all for being American Infidels. What does the United States do? Wait for it.... yes, apologize! And prosecute the soldiers who mistakenly burned the books.
The Apology is the violin in the dirge of appeasement. Appeasement is Crock-Pot Suicide. It is as much an invitation to mischief as letting a wad of Euros hang out of your back pocket in Rome near a swarm of gypsy urchins. In 2012, no nation on Earth holds the United States in high regard. Not even the United States, it seems. Right now would be a good time to stop apologizing, stick the aforementioned fellow with the shovel into the nicest office in Foggy Bottom, and hit that ridiculous reset button again.
Back in the 1980s, the frisky terrorists in Lebanon got ahold of some Russians and threatened to do some unpleasant things to them. Did the Soviets apologize for the hostages' soiling of their captors' Persian rugs? No. Instead, according to legend, the KGB was quietly dispatched to teach the kidnappers a little lesson, which involved, among other things, syringes and eyeballs. Relatives of the kidnappers also became involuntarily involved. Again, all very quiet. No Russian apologies were ever issued. And the Russians had no further difficulties in Lebanon. The lesson here is self-evident.
If the opening quote is the foundation of diplomacy, what structure rests well upon it? Here I offer another quote, spoken by John Wayne in his last film, The Shootist:
"I won't be wronged. I won't be insulted. I won't be laid a-hand on. I don't do these things to other people, and I require the same from them."
The bumper sticker-festooned electric car-driving crowd defecates masonry when a person combines Diplomacy and Cowboys in a discussion of world affairs. To cause these indignant folk even more duress, I'll add the following- Theodore Roosevelt was only 2/3 correct when he thought it wise to "speak softly, and carry a big stick." It is not enough to carry and display the stick; the stick must be forcefully employed when the John Wayne modus vivendi is transgressed.
Effective Diplomacy has more often than not been the ends, not the means. A good use for diplomacy is to determine the specifics of the surrender being offered by an adversary. Another is to announce to the bad guy walking toward you with obvious evil intent that if he crosses the line you are pointing at on the ground in front of you, his next activity will be to enjoy a helicopter flight to the nearest trauma center.
Effective Diplomacy has more often than not been the ends, not the means. A good use for diplomacy is to determine the specifics of the surrender being offered by an adversary. Another is to announce to the bad guy walking toward you with obvious evil intent that if he crosses the line you are pointing at on the ground in front of you, his next activity will be to enjoy a helicopter flight to the nearest trauma center.
And now a pair of images:
Good Diplomacy:
Bad Diplomacy:
The key takeaway from the above photo is that smiling President Hu is not returning the bow. This translates to:
U.S. President: "I submit to you."
Chinese President: "I accept your submission."
To continue in this vein is going to induce me to research the analgesic effects of the contents of my liquor cabinet, to the likely detriment of my professional efficiency this morning.
One last bit about the Roosevelt Policy- it only works if the stick is really big, and if it's really a stick. Diverse, politically-correct, hollowed-out, toddler-safe Nerf Sticks don't count. The most maddening fact is that the academics running the show to whom I earlier referred grew up playing with unisex G.I. Barbie Joe dolls, and wouldn't know a big stick from a magic wand.
U.S. President: "I submit to you."
Chinese President: "I accept your submission."
To continue in this vein is going to induce me to research the analgesic effects of the contents of my liquor cabinet, to the likely detriment of my professional efficiency this morning.
One last bit about the Roosevelt Policy- it only works if the stick is really big, and if it's really a stick. Diverse, politically-correct, hollowed-out, toddler-safe Nerf Sticks don't count. The most maddening fact is that the academics running the show to whom I earlier referred grew up playing with unisex G.I. Barbie Joe dolls, and wouldn't know a big stick from a magic wand.
